either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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