But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
