we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
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