I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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