Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Sex in the backyard? Check.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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