Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
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