hell yes lets make some ravioli
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
4 words: hood of his car
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
