I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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