Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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