You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
