My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
wow bdsm is so cute
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
