i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Randomize
