If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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