There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
