Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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