I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
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