I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
