idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
