he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Randomize
