drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Randomize
