You can't motorboat a personality
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
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