True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
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