Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
