Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize