So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
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Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
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If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I have post one night stand depression
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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