take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
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