I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
