Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Randomize
