Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
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