i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
