Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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