you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
worst night to have a conscience
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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