Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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