So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
