I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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