The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
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