You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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