we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
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