Got a toothbrush?
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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