I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
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