i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Randomize
