Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
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