I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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