I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
