Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize