google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
