i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
vagina is talking i cant
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Randomize
