We're facebook friends in real life
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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