My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Randomize
