omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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