Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
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