You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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