this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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