16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
