"it" just moved
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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