i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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