The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize