Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Randomize