Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
