wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
