Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
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By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
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The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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