we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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