i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Moan for me like Helen Keller
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize
